LoVe KiLLeR

This world is small
I've my reasons for why I say so
Many things that happen to me
eventually
there'll be another person facing the same as me

Love
Love is a word that will kill many people life
including you & me
no matter who you are
but it'll kill to the extend of its importance to you
I said it'll kill me
to the extend that I won't die
but my heart will ache whenever or wherever I come to think of it

Sometimes
I don't know how to spell out my feelings
I don't know how to express myself
when I say I don't know how to say
I really do mean it
I'm sorry I'm just wordiless in the way
Maybe my tears will tell

Maybe it is because the heart that will tell
My eye that will show you my sorrow
but my mouth don't know how to say
my tongue is twisted
I'm not a good story-teller
but I can sing out all my sorrow

That day to AWC
I saw his car before I stepped into center
Suprise but not to shock
Cause he's busy with Advanced staffing matters
I met him finally
the ever 1st time in 2005
I gave him a smile that really from my heart
& we had a warm hug
We talked for a while
a while of about 1 minute
He continued his stuffs & I turned off

Suddenly
my world became quiet
why is it like that
didn't I do a good job
I gave him the smile that I promise its from my heart
but what's wrong again now
Shannon noticed my silence
& begin to bugging all over me
Sorry I don't know how to express

Suddenly at the moment
I just feel to remain as silent as I can
The night
I cried I think
when she told me he went to see his ex
a simple sentence
but can easily breaks me down as well
I don't know how I went into sleep

I know
I realised I'm still not doing a good job
I know all this days
I'm just avoiding & filling myself with all activities
so that I'll keep myself busy to stop think of him
I know my mind isn't do so
give me more time to get rid of him
I want to stand out as confident as I am

My challenge
I challenge myself towards having him staffing in the Advanced
I know it is about breakthrough
to create more value to me & him as well
I can do it

Anthony's determination & confidence impress me
but I guess
there're still some factors that are not similar
To hold or to let go
each will makes us holding back something or more than that
Treasure what we have now

I don't know what's holding him back to commit into a relationship
I even wondering if I can help him to break himself out or not
even if the person is not me
I'll be very happy too

I know myself
once I step into the trap
hard to get myself out of the trap
Cause I'm sinking deeper day by days

Why do human need to be so concentrate to love one & another
I guess
it is because
Love lets us feel the pain & the joyness of life

I want to tell you I love you
I know I can't
Love doesn't really need words
but my heart will tell




- With love, Yanni -